The fued between Rosie and Donald all started way back in December of 2006 when Mr. Trump allowed the once underage alcoholic slash druggie - I mean - beauty queen, Tara Connor to retain her crown as Miss USA. Side Note: She's a pretty thing, isn't she? Rosie, being the martyr that she is, decided to publicly question The Don's re-Donning of Miss Tara Connor.
From there it escalated into the now-known 'war of words' between "loser" Rosie O'Donnell and "snake-oil salesman" Donald Trump. The real victim here, though? The "liar" Barbara Walters who seems to have been dragged into this puddle of mess by both Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. However, "liar" Walters may have brought this upon herself with an open letter addressed to Rosie care/of the Don himself.
Thankfully he signed it with sincerely. Otherwise, it would have seemed offensive. Don't you think?
While all this seems rather unnecessary and childish, I find it refreshing to see two grown adults being able to express themselves without holding back. Especially two people who are in the media and gain media exposure on a daily, perhaps hourly, basis. However, being the superhero that I am - to the public, not the stars - I was kindly asked to make this nonsensical gibberish kindly float off the people's air-waves.
Late last night, I got out my secret weapon and decided to take matters into my own hand. This is what transpired.
dials number
[Rosie] Hello?
[Punk Girl] Rosie my les-b-friend. What up home-girl?
[Rosie] Punkie! Punkie Brewster. How you doin' girl all whack-n-stuff-yea.
[Punk Girl] O-kay. So, I kind of wanted to ask you about the Don.
[Rosie] Oh that son of a *****, that **** **** can kiss my ***, *******!
[Punk Girl] Anger much?
[Rosie] How dare he call me fat. I'm not fat. My weight has nothing to do with this debacle. Unlike his comb-over.
[Punk Girl] I see.
[Rosie] He's a ratings *****! That's all he is. He needs some publicity so what does he do? He calls me names. Like it's going to hurt my feelings. Yeah right, buddy. Everyone knows he's 5 seconds away from a total meltdown, jack***!
[Punk Girl] Yeah
beep...beep...beep
[Punk Girl] Oh, Rosie? I'm getting another call. I'm going to put you on hold.
[Rosie] And really, who cares about Donald Frump anyway? I mean he's a broke down money hungry ******* ....
[Punk Girl] rolls eyes and picks up the other line Hello?
[Donald Trump] You're fired!
[Punk Girl] Oh, hi Donald. I, uh, actually don't work for you.
[Donald] Oh. You don't? Well maybe you should so I can fire you. You're fired!
[Punk Girl] Yeah, I'll get right on that.
[Donald] My inside sources reveal you are interviewing Rosie O'Tramp. You're fired!
[Punk Girl] I wouldn't call it an interview as such - more of a, you know, conversation on the telephone much like the one you and I are having.
[Donald] You're fired!
[Punk Girl] I'm going to have to put you on hold.
[Donald] You can't put me on hold! I'm Donald..
beep beep beep
[Punk Girl] Still there Rosie?
[Rosie] ... and remember the time his companies went for bankruptcy? Haaaa!
[Punk Girl] Please hold...
beep beep beep
[Donald] You're fired!
beep beep beep
[Rosie] Somebody should tell him to stop shooting raccoons for his wig-hair.
beep beep beep
[Punk Girl] hangs up phone.
As you can see I didn't actually accomplish anything other than the obvious; both need to find a tree to hug. However, stay tuned as I'm sure there will be more on the Rosie O'Donald show.
